


If You Would Be So Kind

by swordfaery



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, anyway i dont kin martin so dont @ me, fluff mostly, idk - Freeform, idk rambly thoughts about love, love is complicated but also its not, no seriously i dont but i did imprint a little with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27999450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordfaery/pseuds/swordfaery
Summary: Love is a beautiful thing and I attempted to demonstrate that.Happy birthday Charlie, I love you so much
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	If You Would Be So Kind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatsrightZoeyeyye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatsrightZoeyeyye/gifts).



Martin wasn’t sure how old he was when he started dreaming about his wedding. He would have never admitted it when he was younger- people thought he was uncool and boring anyway, telling them that he had a fantasy of meeting someone at the isle with the knowledge that they loved each other (and that they always would) wouldn't have helped. 

His parents weren’t in love, he had watched them for years, and then just his mother, and vowed to himself that that would never happen to him. Martin was going to fall in love with someone who loved him more than life itself, with someone who would look at him with fondness in his eyes and actually tell him he loved him, as opposed to treating him with contempt and thinking that was fine. 

Then Jon came along and it was different. 

Longing from afar led to the sort of daydreams that were very embarrassing to actually mention that you had, but were very enjoyable while they happened. Ones about Jon finally realising that Martin had always been there for him, that Martin’s jokes were actually funny, that Martin was worth paying attention to. More embarrassing ones about kissing Jon, about holding his hand as they went for walks in the park, about having Jon in his lap as they both did work. The most embarrassing one, the one that even Tim and booze wouldn’t get out of him, the wedding one. Jon in a suit that looked so good on him, waiting for Martin to come and meet him, looking so happy at the idea of marrying him. No one in the entire world would ever know about that dream though. 

It was never going to happen, Martin knew that. He wasn’t a great romantic option, never the person people actually chose. He was too emotional, too needy, not hot enough… someone had actually told him the way he cared was too scary. So yeah, Martin was used to daydreaming his way through relationships and nothing ever happening.

Even when he and Jon seemed to grow to a sort of understanding- when Jon stopped objecting to Martin taking care of him, with the soft glances Jon started giving him when he thought Martin wasn’t looking, even with the way Jon became convinced that everyone was plotting against him he still seemed to smile at Martin at first, Martin knew it could never happen. There was too much in the way and Martin was too much of a coward to even think about asking Jon out for drinks- even if they weren’t all preoccupied with whatever the fuck was going on. 

*******

“I really loved you, you know?” Martin said, and he meant it. So much had happened between his first daydream about holding Jon’s hand and now, and Jon had gone from a crush to someone he cared about to… well someone he loved. Didn’t matter now of course, Jon would be gone soon and it would just be Martin. Alone. 

Even if he had never joined the institute it would have ended like this- some people just weren’t born to be loved. 

Then Jon took his hand. It wasn’t like the way Martin had daydreamed about- Jon’s fingers were colder and bonier, and they weren’t walking through a park feeding some ducks. Still, he was holding Jon’s hand. It was nice. 

The first time Jon says “I love you,” it’s not a surprise. In books it's always a magical moment, something almost unexpected, something scary- and at his lowest points Martin had believed them, and believed that books were as close as he would ever get.

“I love you.” Jon says, as Martin hands him a cup of tea, and without thinking Martin says it back. He can see the hint of a blush in Jon’s cheeks as he realises what he said, the way Jon looks at him as if to say “are you sure?”

Martin always assumed he would be saying are you sure. 

He takes Jon’s hand, and presses his lips against his knuckles. “I love you.” he says, and it is the sort of thing that would have made anyone looking roll their eyes- but this moment isn’t for other people to watch. It’s for them. 

*****

An apocalypse isn’t a scene where Martin had ever even thought to set his wedding daydreams- but he also hadn’t thought he would ever actually get married. Technically, he still wasn’t, there was none of that special paper that made it legal, and no one there was legally allowed to marry people (Martin wasn’t sure what qualifications were needed for that, but he was pretty sure that Melanie did not have them), but he didn’t care. 

It was dark beneath the institutes, so instead of flowers they had torches, and instead of fancy suits they had the clothes they had been apocalypse-ing in for… months? Martin wasn’t sure but it wasn’t exactly romantic. There was also no Tim to be his best man, and no Sasha to make fun of him blushing, and none of his biological family there to- but Martin wouldn’t have invited them anyway. 

Jon’s face looked spooky in the torch light, but even through the shadows Martin could see how he was loved.


End file.
